Training May 12-18- aka: My Enthusiasm Takes an Ugly Nose-Dive

Week 12 of 36 (Week 6 of Iron Fit Training Plan). Twenty-five weeks until the race.

What this week's scheduled training looked like (May 12-18):

Total hours scheduled: 9:00

Total hours logged: 8:30 (I was supposed to bike 30 more minutes this week, but my 14-year-old daughter asked me if I wanted to go for a walk on Sunday right as I was about to ride. If you have a 14-year-old daughter you know that if they actually want to spend time with you then you drop everything and do it. So that 30 min ride didn't get in, but I count it as time well spent)

Total running miles this week/total: 17 /154.5

Total biking miles this week/total: 47.5 / 424

Total swimming yards this week/total: 5000 / 60,000

Weight: 148; down 2 lbs overall (same)

Level of IM enthusiasm: 2/10. (see below)

Nutrition elements:  I really want to discuss my Hammer products likes and dislikes (overall, I'm liking most), but it's almost midnight, so once again I'm about out of time.

Other: It was my worst week for training -- in terms of enthusiasm -- so far. Two sick kids out of school for a total of four days, my parents in town half the week, weather crappy. But the real problem came on Tuesday when Captain Awesome and I received some potentially life-changing (in a good way) and definitely Ironman-changing news on the job front.

Yeah... nosedive

The news is quite exciting, but at the same time I recognize that it may be impossible for me to complete my IMFL training and/or get to the race, depending on the time frame of this new job. Running through different possible scenarios in my head got me all flustered and frustrated, in terms of training this week.

In the midst of it all, one thing definitely became clear to me -- and I feel like such a wimp admitting it -- I am definitely not interested in doing this much training if I don't have a specific race goal at the end of it. As soon as the potential of IMFL being unavailable hit me, my training zeal nose-dived.  I didn't want to do the work.

I will admit, I picked myself up by the bootstraps and got almost all my hours in for this week. I'm proud of that. And until we have a firm offer and timetable my training will continue. Who knows, everything might work out for training and the race. I hope so. I've got a lot invested in this: financially, physically, emotionally.

I want to do IMFL 2014. I really do. And in most ways, I feel like if I don't do this particular race, I may not ever get the gumption back up to try another one (Plus, I am not the only person involved with IMFL -- this is a three person event with my two besties, Princess & Hippie.  It was a miracle we all got spots at IMFL. And the thought of letting them down is worse than not doing the race).

But right now I'm taking it one day at a time. I can't control what happens tomorrow. I can only do what I can do today. And today I'm training with the plan to race IMFL 2014.